No marriage is perfect. In fact, you’d probably be hard pressed to find one that hasn’t gone through tough times. But there are some times in a marriage that you might think it’s time to move on or possibly get a divorce. Those are the times that it might be beneficial to seek marital counseling.
In this article, we'll talk about some common reasons marriages break down: lack of intimacy or communication, sudden life events or changes, financial troubles, physical/emotional abuse and infidelity, among others. We’ll also discuss how marital counseling can help you get through these issues and save your marriage.
Intimacy outside the marriage.Rebuilding a marriage after a partner has experienced a physical or emotional affair is difficult, but it is possible. First, both sides need to forgive and make a deep commitment to the future. That likely means therapy.
Negative — or even non-existent — communication.
If one or both partners consistently are left disrespected, depressed or insecure following communication, something needs to be addressed. Communication that leads to physical or psychological abuse also is a huge red flag. Negative issues need to be periodically addressed in even the best of marriages; when it becomes the only communication, there is a serious problem.
Roommates, not spouses. Is there a lack of intimacy?
Is there no communication at all? Do the two of you not even bother to discuss your day? Married couples that are simply co-habitating may be on the way to divorce. An experienced counselor can help spouses rediscover a missing spark.
To err is human. Marriage is full of such mistakes — many of them relatively minor but sometimes a spouse will commit a doozy. How will the other spouse react? It’s easy to adopt an “I’ll show her” attitude, which is bound to magnify a big mistake even more. Spouses who find themselves going negative in this way should consider contacting a counselor.
At odds all the time.
Disagreement is common in any relationship, and marriage is no exception. But couples who constantly fight and bicker and are unable to resolve their conflicts may need to turn to a third party for help. A skilled counselor can show couples how to resolve conflict — provided the couple wants to work toward a positive outcome.
Staying together for the children.
So many bad marriages are kept together to save the children from the pain of separation and divorce. That’s a noble quest, but often foolhardy. Bad long-term relationships can have an even more adverse effect on your children; if they grow up seeing parents in a dysfunctional marriage, how will they be able to have a healthy marriage of their own?
Separating to save the day.
Arguments or disagreements that lead to one spouse storming out of the house are not healthy. The time apart can soothe tempers, but it’s a recipe for disaster because now a seed has been planted: Time apart is the answer. Marriage should be all about spending time together and working through differences together; the more things done separately, the shakier the marriage will become.
Marriage is hard work. Marital counseling can help spouses who have lost their way or just need to remind each other why they decided to get married in the first place.
The marriage counselors at Psychology Consultants, Inc. can help. Fill out this form or call us at 330.764.7916 to start a conversation.